Gary vs. Gilbert - The Showdown at Dawn

This little fabric box is the item of envy in the world of Gary & Gilbert. So begins my tale of the epic & ongoing battle of Gary vs. Gilbert.

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• Where: living room
• When: this morning
• What: the Fabric Box
• Who: Gary & Gilbert
• Why: primal jealousy
• How: by any means possible

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Gary loves his boxes. He loves any box. If he can fit in it, he will. Gary was the first to claim rights to the new toy.

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Then of course, Gilbert became interested in what Gary was doing . Please note Gilbert's attempt at being nonchalant and Gary's intense gaze at Gilbert. The battle has begun.
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ROUND ONE

Gilbert rounded about to the left and behind the box. Gary was quick to stake his claim by moving into the box.


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Gilbert fell back, scampered to the safety of the reclining chair to re-evaluate the situation. Gary seeing that Gilbert will try to get him from behind jumped out of the box to coordinate his attack.



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Gilbert crept closer to the box. Gary intensely watched his approach.

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Silence ensued as I watched with anticipation. I could hear the blood thumping in my ear drums like a second hand ticking away at a clock.

Gary, "Go ahead. Make my day."

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Gilbert pounced on Gary, went for the throat! Gary shifted and squirmed to reposition his body. The 14 pounds of Gilbert fat crushed Gary into the floor!

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Gary with his lightning fast reflexes squirmed out from underneath the fat beast and went for the upper cut!






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Let's look at that in slow motion...








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Gilbert jumped to his feet, knowing this would give him the higher ground and he plotted his next move.






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ROUND TWO

Unbeknown to Gary, who was smug in his short lived victory, Gilbert was sneaking to claim the box. Please note the end of a tail behind the box. That was Gilbert executing his next phase of attack.



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Gilbert jumped into the box, popped out the other side like a jack in the box to whack Gary in the face!
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THE WINNER!!
Gilbert claimed the item of envy, another glorious battle won by ingenuity, youth, and a roll full of body fat. The day would be filled with peace and prosperity and a comfortable nap in the fabric box.

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Or would it??

Thinking back to the Littler Things in Life

I am sitting here looking at my cats and reminiscing. What the heck happened to Gilbert? He grew from an annoying tiny stink ball to one HUGE food driven competitive beast. He is so fat his PAWS are fat. He's so fat he huffs and puffs when he walks!

I remember picking him out the day at the pound and asking the assistant about his little belly he had. "Will this go away as he gets older?" I asked. She nodded with a smile, "Absolutely! He's been pent up in a cage, just needs to move around."

LIES! That little belly grew into a monstrous black hole, eating anything and everything that touches the kitchen floor! Gilbert's gut is larger than my head! And poor Gary, being so small and lanky, is now at the mercy of this beast of a cat.

What am I going to do with this animal?

Boldly Go Where Most Cats Have Gone Before

I truly adore my cats. Gary, however, is... umm... well Gary is very slow. As gorgeous as he is to look at, he is all beauty and no brains. With that said, I am going to tell you my story for the day.

Gilbert is a kitty full of excitement and exploration. He is also filled with mad jealousy and competition. Gary has his perch on the bathroom sink where he will meow at me to turn on the faucet for water. For Gilbert, this just wouldn't do. He needed something bigger and better than the bathroom faucet. What could be bigger and better than the bathroom sink? Well, Gilbert started to perch on the toilet, and attempted to drink from the toilet bowl! I concluded that Gilbert must have thought that his water was bigger and more easily accessible that he thought he was the winner.

Absolutely appalled by toilet drinking, (these are cats not dogs), I have been keeping the toilet lid down. Oh nelly, this was unacceptable for Gilbert. He still needed to find the bigger and better watering hole. So Gilbert paced around the bathroom, paced around their water bowl in the kitchen. Gilbert went hunting to find the next and best thing. And so he did. His new waterhole is the bathtub.

So, Gilbert found his new hang out spot, like Gary in the sink, he perched in the bathtub. Now there is ample room in a bathtub for 2 cats. Gary, being Gary, it took him way too long to process this. He sat on the outside of the tub and stared at Gilbert. Then he stood up, and looked into the tub - for way too long. Gary stood there, staring at Gilbert, then to the tub faucet, back to Gilbert, back to the faucet. Then me being impatient at Gary's slow thinking process, I scooped him up and put him in the tub. Gary, being Gary, immediately jumped out of the bathtub, only to sit back down and start the staring process all over again.

I had to walk away. Let the cat figure it out himself, right? So then Dan came along, "What is your cat doing?" he asked. "Staring at the tub," I answer. "Why?" he asked. "Because he's slow, all right!" Feeling defensive, I ran to the tub and turned on the faucet. I was going to prove to Dan and prove myself that Gary was a smart boy, he was just waiting for the water to be turned on. Gilbert was immediately tickled that I turned on the tub faucet because he had the bigger and better faucet. Gilbert was prancing about the tub, pawing at the water and lapping it up, having a good ole time.

Then Gary finally jumped in the tub and stood next to Gilbert. "All right," I'm thinking to myself, "Gary knows whats going on, he was just waiting for the faucet to be turned on, he's was just being patient, he sees what Gilbert is doing, this is good." What does Gary do from there? Stares at the dripping faucet. Drip.... Drip... Drip... Just stares.

The Good Life

I have been watching my cats nap on our bed, stretch out so gracefully, then reposition their bodies, just as they go into a deeper sleep. I have to say, there are times I am down right jealous. Dan & I will joke to one another. "Oh it's so hard being a house cat," I'll say to him. His reply to me, "It's the good life."